July 2, 2011
I had a rough night, lemme tell ya. Just ask my best friend Ashley and my best guy friend Brantley. And it's weird, because me and Ash are bestest friends and we go through everything together...and we can finish each other's sentences and we can say the same exact thing at the same exact time, and last night both of our hearts were aching and breaking.
So three weeks and two days meant nothing to him....those cute sweet texts...everything...meant nothing to him. But you know what? Karma's a female dog and he will pay one day.
Last night I realized that I'm not as strong as I thought I was. I swore I'd never cry over a boy again...but I did just that. I couldn't believe myself. But I was hurt, so maybe that's just the typical reaction...I don't know. Typically I hide everything deep down...but I couldn't do that this time. This time hurt really badly. This time I really cared about someone...and they let me down. This time I really like someone...and they crushed me. This time was different than last. This time I actually cared. This time...
Last night I realized that even the guys that seem like they're super nice and would always be there for you, can be complete douchebags. Last night....
I realized that no matter how hard I try, I cannot delete that one super sweet text he sent me...no matter how hard I try. No matter...
I realized that the first love and first heartbreak will always be the worst and will always be the hardest to get over and will always be imprinted into your heart and mind forever. You will never forget that first boy. Never...
I realized that Brantley was right all along...even though I didn't want to believe him. He was right...
I realized that blogs don't always have to be sarcastic and witty, because these things are also for posting feelings and junk. Junk you don't really want to tell anyone...but when you post it you're basically telling the whole world...but still. Blogs are serious also...I've noticed that in the past few I've done... The past...
June 8, 2011 seems so long ago now... in five days it will be a month since that day... can you really just throw all that away? He did...
I realized that having a guy as a best friend can be a good thing and a bad thing all combined into one. Sometimes he may screw up and say the wrong things...even though it's true... But they always know what to say to make everything better partially. Feel better...
That's going to be a tough thing to get over...even as writing this I feel a tear in my eye...which sucks. But...that's normal I suppose... Maybe...
So anyway, I'm about to leave for a bit...I might come back and finish this blog post...but until then...
Keep your lights shining bright~ Don't let anyone put out the flame...no matter what.
...yeah...*~KayKay
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