Pondering....

July 7, 2011

So the other day I got to thinking...time has really flown by! It seems like yesterday I was walking into First Grade, thinking about how great it is to be a 'big kid now' and go to school with all the big kids. It seems like yesterday I was in third grade, playing dorky little kid games with my friends. xD It seems like yesterday, I was in fifth grade, getting into the Junior Beta Club. It seems like yesterday I was finally in middle school, sixth grade, feeling as though we were the rulers of the elementary side. It seems like yesterday I switched schools and was in eighth grade. It seems like yesterday I was finally a high schooler, in ninth grade, a freshman. It seems like an hour ago, I was a sophomore, getting ready to get out of high school forever. It seems like a minute ago I was waiting for summer to get here...and now it's nearly over. 

Next month, I will officially be a Junior in high school, an eleventh grader...one more school year until I will be a Senior and graduating to do bigger things. This year there'll be class rings and raising money for prom, and actual prom itself. This year I will be looking into colleges and taking trips to visit. I remember back in first grade when we had our own little mini prom the day before Junior-Senior...we felt like we were on top of the world. I remember looking up to the older, high school students, wanting to be just like them. I wonder how many kids are doing some thing, but looking up to me? I wonder. 

This year will be one like no other. This year will be a journey. This year will open many of eyes. This year will be a challenge. This year. Wow. It feels weird saying I will be a Junior this coming school year...only fifteen and a Junior. How crazy is that? Gosh I just can't believe it. Two more years of high school and then college....geezums where does the time go? Now I know. It goes by and if you don't live it up and take it in, you'll never get it back. 

I guess the adults were right, looking back when I was younger and going into kindergarten, my mom said 'My little girl is growing up.' She said that again once I went to First Grade...and again when I was accepted in the Beta Club...and again when I was a Freshman...and again when I was a Marshall in Graduation this past year. I guess I am growing up...I already knew that obviously but I see a light on it now...I'm growing up and soon I'll be gone. Away from the nest, off on my own journey...I used to to see it as I was growing up physically and mentally...but now I see it differently. I used to always reply whether it be to my mom or my dad that I'd always be their little girl...and they'd smile. I never realized until recently that that was our secret covenant, my secret promise, to always come back and never turn my back on my family.  Wow I look into things a lot now... Phrases can have double meanings...way back when, they only one meaning, but now...

Nowadays kids will say anything. Seven year olds use vulgar words that when I was seven I had never heard of...ever. Seven year olds know a lot of things now, that kids back when I was that age never knew until we were twelve or so. This generation of kids can be pretty ridiculous...but well that's off topic. 

I just can't believe that my life is just going by so fast. I can remember things from back when I was three or so...and I'm three months and twenty three days shy of being 16. Sixteen sounds like a small number...but three more years and I could be tried as an adult for a crime. Three more years I could buy cigarettes if I wanted to...I doubt that cause I'm not screwing my life up...but still that's not the point. Three more years, I could move as far away from this place and no one could say I couldn't. Three more years and I have all the freedom I could ever want. Three more years. Talk about a small number now. 

Well then, that's all my pondering for today...until next time~

Keep your lights shining ~ :D

*~KayKay